The Awful Unresponsiveness of Death

This phrase 'awful unresponsiveness of death' has been haunting me ever since I read it in 'The English Teacher' by R. K. Narayan. What a painful feeling it must be...a feeling of emptiness. Nothing more can be more sorrowful than an unexpected, untimely demise of a dear one. But life has to go on....painfully though.

Are your words holding you back?

well...seems like I am blog-freak today!
An article that appeared in Lifestyle MSN: Are your words holding you back? again caught my attention. No man is unworthy...he is what he believes is! Read it to find more!

The New Marriage Rules

Today seems to be blog day! :-D

This article, The New Marriage Rules, captures the changes in the outlook towards marriage in today's world. Adjusting, compromising with each others attitude seem to be needed for a happier life! (I cannot comment on this more, without experiencing it ;-)

Reciprocity
An important problem among friends, though not always explicitly stated is ' Reciprocity'. Recently I read another article wherein person A had raised this problem to a counsellor: I have been there for my friend in all her so-and-so things, but for my so-and-so things, she doesn't reciprocate at all. This hurts me. For which the counsellor suggested that the friend is probably having her own problems that she doesn't really share with you..blah blah blah....What really caught me was this statement:

It's better if we're "there for people" simply because we choose to be.

Damn true ain't it? Why care for a return...but enjoy what you do! :-)

ARRANGED MARRIAGE!
Being born and brought up in India, one doesn't find the idea of 'Arranged Marriage' so different. But for many people out of the Indian sub-continent, arranged marriage is something very interesting and sometimes funny! How could you marry someone whom you do not know? is a common question I have encountered while talking to people. Recently, my supervisor brought to our attention (in lieu of my labmate's wedding) an article in MSN. Anjali Mansukhani married a guy working in the US, arranged by the parents. She discusses the pros of arranged marriage in the article and finally punches in the essence of Indian culture:

Had I found my own mate, I'm sure my parents would have come around, but I'd have to live knowing that they wouldn't be truly emotionally invested in the success of the marriage.

Every individual aspires for social integration or social recognition. Indian tradition and culture, I believe, is designed to facilitate achieving it, paving way for a happier life! Not to undervalue the western system, Anjali highlights the pros of the American culture too. A good combination of the Indian and western culture for a happier life!
(Indian-born love-married couples: No offense intended...and perhaps this might not be the true in all cases!)

A pep blog!

As I prepare for my mock presentation tomorrow, I cannot help thinking of the comfort, moral support, reassurance, confidence that I had while preparing for competitive exams at home. The physical presence of my parents, sisters have had a very positive influence on all my performances, knowingly or unknowingly. Sitting here all alone, across the seas, I miss the warmth of my home. But this experience teaches me to be self-motivated. As I grow up in my profession, I believe, self-motivation, sustainment, perseverance are qualities that would be necessary to keep me in the front. Reassured by the thought of the warmth at home, getting back to work! :-)

The Best Education

I recently came across an article (click on article for the article) by Prof. Michael Raghunath, NUS in a local newspaper in the 'science talk' column. It is a very good article wherein he describes what research-based education is. I was really taken back by his writing skills. I think, not all can write what they think (and not all can think so clearly!)! I would say, thinking clearly and writing the SAME is an art, an art that is at par with other forms of expression such as painting, singing etc. It has its own rules! The article is a must read for anyone who wants to know about research-based training and for an example of excellent writing!

Friendship...

Human happiness may always be related to associations. At different ages, different associations give happiness. Friendship, a predominant association atleast until one gets married, shapes one's character and self-esteem. There are many theories and studies from how friendship blosoms and influences on the shaping of one's character to how to maintain friendships (quite a number of good websites came up when I googled!). On some reflection coupled with some google searches (and coupled with my natural inclination towards psychology), I realised three important factors/phenomena/act that create/sustain friendships. One is the reciprocity between friends. I tell something very personal to my friend, and I expect my friend to be open with me on his personal feeling. This is very much essential in the initial stages of friendship and sometimes this is expected even after several years of friendship. But there are friends who understand that experience and exposure varies as we grow and venture into defining our own lives. Then a mature relation is established and each other acknowledge each other for their transformation. This is especially true in case of high-school friends. Each friend enters different schools for their degree and comes out with different experiences and perceptions towards life. The second factor that I realised is important in creating and sustaining friendship is a common interest. People who have common interests easily bond. This is because humans tend to like to be acknowledged for their thoughts and interests. Also, common interests form a platform over which friends talk over several subjects ultimately leading to intimacy. Third, I felt demostration of the feeling of friendship is important and gives a significant boost to the strength and length of friendship between two friends. When I acknowledge and introduce someone as my friend (friend, not as in the corporate world), the social recognition and identity that is created gives a significant boost to the self-esteem and confidence for both the friends. This is again due to our social-living nature. Apart from this, altruism is often a mark of true friendship. So friends who read this blog, please reciprocate, acknowledge and demonstrate your friendship by (giving comments to this blog!) keeping in constant touch with friends (especially who are away from homeland) and lending an empathetic ear. You may never know how this act of kindness brings a change in them, but it definitely is needed.

Only when you are deprived of something do you realise its need. I think, this is Experience-based learning...or simply Experience?!

Oh here is another e-work...How real I am!
Great! I am 60% real...thats pretty much a good score I guess!! :-D

You Are 60% Real

You're pretty real with people, but you can't help hiding a good part of yourself. You're not truly happy with who you are at times... and believe it or not, it shows. Try not to hide parts of your life from the people who matter to you. Your friends and family are probably a lot more accepting than you realize!

How Real Are You?

Below post is another result of a quiz from a website...telling u ur match to the character in the Harry Potter series...oh me...Albus Percival Dumbledore!! :-)

You scored as Dumbledore, Dumbledore 75% Harry 67% Seamus Finnigan 67% Snape 58% Percy Weasley 54% Ron 50% Draco 50% Remus Lupin 50% Fred/George 46% Oliver Wood 46% Siruis Black 42% Voldemort 42% Lucuis Malfoy 38% Hagrid 33% created with QuizFarm.com

The sorting hat!

I came across the website which sorts you into one of the four houses at Hogwarts based on some nice questions. I aint know what defines the character of each houses, but the result was that I belong to Hufflpuff!

The scores:

Hufflepuff - 12

Gryffindor - 11

Ravenclaw - 11

Slytherin - 6

Well, well, i think I am equally a hufflepuff, gryfinndor and a ravenclaw ;-)

Which Hogwarts house will you be sorted into?

Who will lead me into that still more hidden and dimmer region where
Thought weds Fact, where the mental operation of the mathematician and the
physical action of the molecules are seen in their true relation? Does not the
way pass through the very den of the metaphysician, steered with the remains of
former explorers?

James Clerk Maxwell, 1870

'Far better it is, to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs even though checkered by failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much because they live in the great twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat'

I copied this from Dr. Ranjit's orkut profile

I seemed to like this..because it is the truth!! :-)

Problems in life...

Many a people crib that they have lots of problems in life. But a careful analysis can reveal that the problem is not from outside, but from within. The perspectives they have, the expectations they have are the cause of the problems and nothing else!
The best way, I can think of, is to put it off for a while until the heat is lost and then analyse it leisurely. But this is quite difficult to do. It is very natural for us to react instantaneously. But experience might teach one this very lesson of being calm and composed at emotional situations. But it is still upto the individual to learn this lesson!! Once you have learnt this lesson, I believe, problems are no longer problems, rather, challenges! :-)

Solitude

Somewhere I read 'Research is a solitary activity'. But I should say, research alone is not a solitary activity. Many a things in life cannot be shared with our near and dears, partially because they are not physically near you at that time of need and partially because you cannot burden your dear ones with all your cribs. At such circumstances, a lot distrust develops...distrust on ourself, distrust on the near and dears, frustrations become a habit. But a balanced mind should be able to cope up with all these. Develop trust over mistrust, develop hope over despair and try to see the fortunes in reserve when we cross the huge ocean of negativism. I think that is the essence we should learn as we mature...mentally. Many a people say, I take life as it comes, but I cannot think of being without a cause and take life as it comes. Probably this has led me into the problems I face now, internally. I do not get satiated with something mediocre. But at the same time when I see someone with mediocre satisfactions enjoying themselves, I get broken down. Am I undergoing all these tough times which others gain so easily by lowering their standard? Well, that again leads to the question of how one defines 'standard'. Many a things in this world are very subjective. The most popular one is the one that is the opinion of many people, not necessarily the right one, atleast by my opinion. It also leads to the question of what is 'enjoying' mean! A very subjective term indeed!!
well....a very complex web of emotions :-)... All one needs at such a stage is a good companion, one who can atleast listen to you sincerely, if not offer you any suggestions...and I think suggestions are least expected too! Just the comfort of a good companion, a feel-good thought by a moral support and a motivation. :-)

I got the statement that follows from a post in Tomorrow's professor :

Education is irreversible. Once you've tasted the pleasure and hard work of
learning, the joy of knowledge, you cannot thereafter imagine yourself without
it

It's all me!

வலை தளத்தில் மேய்ந்த போது கிடைத்தது:

நீ என்னிடம் பேசியதைவிட எனக்காகப் பேசியதில்தான் உணர்ந்தேன் நமக்கான நட்பை. -அறிவுமதி

அற்புதமான வாக்கியம்!

நண்பர்களுக்கிடையே நன்றி நவில்வதா? சர்ச்சைக்குரிய கேள்வி! நண்பர்களுக்கிடையே இது சண்டையை மூட்டி விட்டுவிடுமோ? :-D

The two faces of a coin problem!

We either see the good or the bad of a person. Not all get a chance to see both faces of a person/colleague. And even when we see both faces, it is difficult to stop ourselves from getting out of our prejudices! The best option, as it seems to me, is to live in an isolated world!! But that again is not possible... The practical solution could be not to judge anyone...but just accept. But the human brain always tends to infer based on the information passed on to it. This nature has indeed led mankind to question things around him resulting in advances in technology! Phew! How different things form a web of complexities!

Please hear what I am not saying

Don't be fooled by me
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature to me
but don't be fooled.
For God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that confidence is my name and coolness is my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command,
and that I need no one.
But don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface
is my mask, ever-varying and ever-concelaing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneeath lies confusion and fear and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don't want anybody to know it.

I panic at the thought of my weakness and fear being exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation
My only hope , and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only that will assure me
of what I can't assure myself
that I' really worth something
I don't like to hide.
I dont't like to play superficial phony games.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me,
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last think I seem to want,
only you can wipe away from my eyes
the bland stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me in aliveness.

Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings, very small winds,
very feeble wings,
but wings!
With your power to touch me into feeling you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.

Who am I , you may wonder.
I am someone you know very well,
for I am every man you meet,
and I am every man you meet!

--Charles Finn