Friendship...

Human happiness may always be related to associations. At different ages, different associations give happiness. Friendship, a predominant association atleast until one gets married, shapes one's character and self-esteem. There are many theories and studies from how friendship blosoms and influences on the shaping of one's character to how to maintain friendships (quite a number of good websites came up when I googled!). On some reflection coupled with some google searches (and coupled with my natural inclination towards psychology), I realised three important factors/phenomena/act that create/sustain friendships. One is the reciprocity between friends. I tell something very personal to my friend, and I expect my friend to be open with me on his personal feeling. This is very much essential in the initial stages of friendship and sometimes this is expected even after several years of friendship. But there are friends who understand that experience and exposure varies as we grow and venture into defining our own lives. Then a mature relation is established and each other acknowledge each other for their transformation. This is especially true in case of high-school friends. Each friend enters different schools for their degree and comes out with different experiences and perceptions towards life. The second factor that I realised is important in creating and sustaining friendship is a common interest. People who have common interests easily bond. This is because humans tend to like to be acknowledged for their thoughts and interests. Also, common interests form a platform over which friends talk over several subjects ultimately leading to intimacy. Third, I felt demostration of the feeling of friendship is important and gives a significant boost to the strength and length of friendship between two friends. When I acknowledge and introduce someone as my friend (friend, not as in the corporate world), the social recognition and identity that is created gives a significant boost to the self-esteem and confidence for both the friends. This is again due to our social-living nature. Apart from this, altruism is often a mark of true friendship. So friends who read this blog, please reciprocate, acknowledge and demonstrate your friendship by (giving comments to this blog!) keeping in constant touch with friends (especially who are away from homeland) and lending an empathetic ear. You may never know how this act of kindness brings a change in them, but it definitely is needed.